2012 NFL Divisonal Round Picks -the “In -tim- gibles”

AFC
 
Denver 20 New England 17
 
John Fox runs his ground and pound offense and motivates his stout defense to an upset. The Bronc’s dominate the clock and keep Brady off the field and Eddie Royal (VT) runs a punt back for a TD. Even so, Brady engineers enogh points to win. However, Tee-ee-bow (Tee-EE-bow) pulls another rabbit out of the hat. With seconds remaining, he scrambles into field goal range (barely). Strong legged Matt Prater kicks a 50 plus yard field goal to send the Bronc’s to Balmer.
 
Baltimore 13 Houston 6
 
Houston’s physical style matches Baltimore’s.  The two teams ground and pound all game, but their defense’s remain resolute. Baltimore score’s a game winnning defensive touchdown via a Ray Lewis interception off the hands of rookie TJ Yates. Former Cavalier Matt Schaub demands to be put in the game despite his season ending injury and former Panther Jake Delhomme also screams at Gary Kubiak for playing time even though it’s been 5 years since he was a decent NFL QB.   Former Skin Matt Turk pins the Ravens in their own territory consistently and Joe Flacco (pronounced Flak-kooo in Balmer) is unable to overcome his mediocrity to dig them out. Thus, in this era of high scores, this one harkens back to the games normally won by the Ravens’ 2000 Super Bowl team.
 
NFC
 
Green Bay 42 New York 24
 
The Giants pass rush knocks Aaron Rogers out of the game at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. Matt Flynn comes in and as a “system” quarterback doesn’t miss a beat and racks up points on the Gigantti’s.  Victor Cruz does the salsa and the Pack is nicked by Nicks, but it isn’t enough to overcome the Green Bay offensive machine. A week after the game, Daniel Snyder offers Flynn his own media empire in exchange for becoming the Redskin quarterback. Alas, due to the pounding the Giants inflicted upon him, he doesn’t pass the physical and the Skins begin another year with Rex Grossman under center.
 
New Orleans 38 San Francisco 10
 
Drew Brees directs his team to another 30 plus first downs and former Skin defensive coordinator Greg Williams’s ball hawking pressure defense turns Alex Smith back into a pumpkin. Former Maryland Terrapin Vernon Davis scores San Fran’s lone touchdown. Ex Skin Carlos Rogers is burned for numerous long bombs ala Steelers Ike Taylor. During the end of game handshake, Jim Harbaugh slaps Sean Payton on the back so hard that the latter’s injured knee buckles, sending him to the hospital. Lacking competition, Jim calls his brother John in Baltimore from the locker room and challenges him to an arm wrestling match.

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